We must not heed those who advise us to think as human beings since we are human and to think mortal things since we are mortal, but we must be like immortals insofar as possible and do everything toward living in accordance with the best thing in us.  (62, Mark Vernon, Plato’s Podcasts)

 

I am in the most awkward of awkward sexual situations, which is why I started this blog.  You know how LGBT activists will sometimes point out that straight people do not have to keep their romantic relationships hidden out of fear of rejection or worse in order to gain more understanding? I do, because I do!  

Funnily enough, I have recently discovered that sometimes even a heterosexual relationship has to remain hidden.  Mine is.

“My Dad met my girlfriend first.  Now I have to hide my boyfriend.  It’s surreal to be hiding my straight relationship. #PolyProblems” 

When I think about it, I laugh.

Let me explain it a little more thoroughly.  I am in the best relationship I have ever been in but polyamory is still pretty new to me.  I am in a triad, which is where there are three people who are in a committed relationship together.  To me, the saying is true that being poly just means that there are more people to love.

 We’re really a very normal couple.  Well, okay, our sex life is a bit different but in most ways we are like every other couple.  We eat dinner together and watch TV.  We meet for coffee.  We support and love each other.  If there is anything exceptional about us, it is how well we communicate.  Of course, we are not perfect and misunderstandings do happen but we are also able to address the issue and resolve it usually fairly quickly.  This makes me so happy – I don’t think a poly relationship could survive without decent communication skills.

 Here is where my situation gets really weird – the poly relationship I’m in involves two females and a guy.  My dad is cool with my sexuality and doesn’t know about my lifestyle yet.  He was at a farmer’s market and my girlfriend happened to be there and so without thinking about the possible ramifications, I introduced her to him as my girlfriend.  He was so nice and accepting about it but I then was left with a dilemma – come out as poly, so I can also introduce him as my boyfriend or keep the straight part of my relationship in the closet for a while.  Of course, I have decided to take the cowardly road.

But not for long.  We talked about it and neither one of us likes feeling fake, so we are both going to start coming out of the poly closet soon.  It’s also about showing the other respect.  To be out about one aspect of a relationship but not the other unintentionally makes that person feel less important and like a less valid part of the relationship.  In order for us to feel as comfortable as we would like in this world, we need to be out among our families.

Having a heterosexual relationship be in the closet is sexually awkward.  Having a relationship that appears to be homosexual but really is not is also incredibly awkward sexually and socially.  And so that is the purpose of this blog – to support those who feel weird about their sexual lifestyle and to make light of some incredibly awkward situations.  Besides talking about my current relationship, I am also going to tell some hilariously sexually awkward stories from my past.  I really do believe that sex and sexuality is awkward much more often than the picture that Hollywood tries to paint.

 

 I cannot wait to share my awkward stories and insights with you!

Advertisements