Beauty has no size.  Don’t be afraid to sparkle. ~ Anonymous

A few weeks ago, my boyfriend and I went to see Dita Von Teese, the queen of burlesque, perform at the Tabernacle.  This was my second time seeing her – I make it a point to see her when she comes to town.  What I love about Dita is that while burlesque may have started as a tawdry show for men, her shows feel more like body-love song to women.  Not just slender women, with nearly impossible bodies perform – plus size women perform too.  People are expected to objectify, hoot and holler every time a person removes an article, without exception.  As a feminist, I have been taught that objectification is bad but I would argue that at these shows, it is good, because we are celebrating the human body, how it can look and what it can do.  I marveled at Dita’s body and how her whole life must be dedicated to being fit and pale skinned but I marveled more at the plus sized women.  Dare I say it?  Yes, by our society’s standards, there were fat women on stage and to me, they were mesmerizing.  The first one is honored as Miss Nude                    Universe – imagine that!  A big woman being honored as having the perfect nude body!  My favorite was the tassel twirler.  She was fat, but gorgeous; sexy, yet loads of fun.  I can barely imagine the courage it must have taken when she first started performing – I know there must have been many naysayers.  Seeing her perform almost made me cry tears of happiness.  “Take that, Hollywood,” I thought.  “The human body IS beautiful, no matter its size.”

When Dita would perform, she had two male assistant dancers with her who danced in the old Hollywood cheese-ball style.  There was even one male burlesque dancer who performed by himself.  He was a matador who artfully hid himself behind a cape, slowly revealing more and more of himself, until all that was left was the shiniest penis you’ve ever seen!  He was wearing a g-string so blinged out, it was like having the great northern star between his thighs.  It felt good to yell at him the way men have yelled at women for thousands of years.

Of course, it is not good to think of people as objects 24/7, but I do think it is good to appreciate the human body – to see it as beautiful, as a work of art, as something sexy, as something fun.  There is something wonderful about consenting to objectification in a world that all too often objectifies without the consent.                                                                            

It was funny to note how the male dancer not only had a blinged cock but tiny, blinged out pasties on his nipples too.  I really want my own pair!

No, really, I do.  I hate wearing bras and even though I have a big chest, I go without a bra as often as I can.  I just find brassieres to be horribly uncomfortable.  My mom did find me some bras that are finally comfortable and so I wear them, but they are quite ugly.  I definitely do not feel like my sexy self while wearing them.  I need some sparkly pasties.

Before I found the ugly, yet comfortable bras, I experimented with going bra less.  This was good, except for not wanting people to see my nipples on days when I was wearing lighter clothing.  Not having pasties or electrical tape at the time, I tried wearing bandaids over my nipples.  This solved the problem, except that I definitely did not feel sexy.  Bandaged nipples is not a sexy look.  I tried to tell my boyfriend that when he wanted a picture of me but finally I took a picture and I think he was surprised at just how unsexy I looked.  “Don’t show that picture to me again!”  Taking off the bandages only gave my nipples a weird, wavy effect.

All this to say that seeing Dita Von Teese inspired me to love my body more and it heightened my desire for appealing underclothes.  I think I may go down to my specialty bra store and see if they have anything that sparkles, or at least something a little more attractive than big bandaids.