Archives for posts with tag: religion

Another person’s judgment of your lifestyle or your passions says more about them than you.   ~ Colin Wright

Do you remember that quote from my new roommate that I gushed about?

Well, the good book says to love your neighbor and I figure I’ve got enough stuff of my own to worry about, that I don’t need to worry about anyone else’s.

Turned out it was not so nonjudgmental.  Turned out that my roommate does think being bisexual, having a girlfriend and a boyfriend, is wrong and she told my other roommate so.  I am so thankful that my other roommate defended me and told the judgmental roommate that she was not a good fit and that she needed to move out.  

There are other reasons too – we quickly learned that this roommate has a negative personality and is very hard to live with.  Life has been tense here.

The other day, I woke up from a nap in my room when I overheard her talking loudly on the phone that she was being forced out because of her “faith.”

They knew I am a Christian, so why are they upset?  The Bible says it’s wrong – I’m not being judgmental.

I was so angry to hear her talking about me that I packed up a few things and spent some time at my parents’.

I am not going to talk about everything in those statements that made me angry, but this:

Christians are not defined by their judgment of LGBT people.  

In fact, LGBT feminist people can be Christian too.  

I am.

There have been a rise lately on “religious freedom” laws that grant businesses the right to discriminate based on their religious beliefs.  This offends me to the core.  According to my faith, God is Love.  Anything in the Bible that does not support that I feel justified in throwing out.  Even Jesus subverted scripture to support loving all.   Like the old song says, we are supposed to be known to be Christians based on our love, not our rules.  I am worried about LGBT discrimination and laws like these being on the rise with Trump as president-elect.  That is why I am writing to my governor tonight to praise him for standing up to these laws in the past and to continue doing so.  Just because Trump will be president does not mean that discrimination has to unilaterally win.

Last night, as my two partners and I hugged together, I thought to myself,

How can this love be wrong?

Like I have said before, polyamory is about having more people to love and as long as that is done in a healthy way, there is nothing wrong with that.  In fact, to quote a cheesy often sung this time of year:

What the world needs now, is love, sweet love.  It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of.



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People are not possessions.

Polyamory just means more people to love.   (Me)

There is nothing more awkward to me than fighting between the people I love.  I am a people pleaser by nature, which can sometimes get me in trouble.  I struggle with standing up for myself, setting boundaries and being assertive, although I am getting better.  Two stereotypes I encounter often are that life within a triad is somehow magically free of jealousy or that our times together are nothing but wild orgies.  Neither are true.  What IS true is that we have made a committment to always stay with each other, even when times are tough and to be willing to talk things out.  We are compassionate with ourselves and each other.  We are willing to acknowledge jealousy and yet not let it be the end.  I really don’t understand why people say so often to me that they could not do what we’re doing because they would be too possessive or jealous and I feel like protesting, “but people aren’t possessions!”  I really do not see the morality in jealousy.  Jealousy is used as an acceptable reason for why someone should not be polyamorous, but to me, it is a weakness to work on.  To me, a far more acceptable answer is just to say that one is not interested.  That’s okay to me.  People are allowed to have different interests in different lifestyles – I guess I just don’t see polyamory as being so wild as I see it being so loving.  

Another awkward thing is meeting a significant other’s family!  On the Fourth of July I had a great time with my people.  One of the things we did was go to see my boyfriend’s family.  Now he and my girlfriend are getting married, and as some of his family is very conservative, I had to be introduced as the close friend.  It was weird – I felt like an awkward teenager all over again.  The family was very warm and accepting.  They asked no questions, which surprised me!  I ended up having a pretty good time but I couldn’t help but wonder what they were thinking some times or whether I would be out one day in the future.  I try not to dwell in those personal questions too long though, as there is no answer yet and it is really not any of my business to know the future or what other people are thinking about me.

As the two of them talk about marriage and I am faced more and more with stereotypes and the supposed conflicts of religion, I want to offer First Corinthians 13:4-7 from the Bible.  This is the Bible verse probably used the most at weddings and I just do not see how it does not also apply to relationships with more than two people:

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Now some say that this verse really applies to our relationship with Christ and not towards romance, but if we are called to be like Christ towards one another, then I don’t see the difference.  All relationships should be based in love, no matter what kind of relationship it is and there is no limit to the amount of love that one is supplied, except by our own human biases.

Treat everyone with lovingkindness.  Seek for greater understanding.  Continue to draw respectful boundaries where need be.  

Blessed be and Goddess bless.